My husband has been gambling for years and I have caught him out on numerous occasions. The last time was a year ago and we are in the process of settling the debts and I thought just coming through it. The trouble is the lies - I feel I can never trust him so I go through his pockets!! Spouses and families are innocent victims immersed in the emotional turmoil that problem gambling presents. Seemingly out of nowhere, spouses and families are stunned by lies, deceit, overwhelming debt, abandonment and guilt. Spouses present symptoms that are traumatic in nature and can prevent both them and the problem gambler from recovering. If your spouse loses his or her house or retirement to gambling losses, odds are, you've just lost yours, too. The signs of problem gambling. Some red flags are so obvious that they hardly seem.

I should have realized long ago that my husband has a gambling problem
but it didn't hit me till last weekend that he is a pathological
gambler. He has lost serious money several times during the past 10
years. Each and every time he has vowed never to do it again but as it
turned out he couldn't stay away too long. He 'invests' on the
commodities and foreign exchange market.

My Spouse Has A Gambling Problem

I now have read all the information I could find on the internet and I
know I shouldn't threaten to leave him.But I have a hard time believing
him now that I found out that he had been lying to me since the day we
got married. We have two children and I don't want them to suffer from
this.

He has also realized that he doesn't have control over this habit and
wants to quit BUT he still has 200 $ in an account on the FX market and
wants to keep it there as closure(?) and he says he won't add any
money to it if it starts to go in the wrong direction. I on the other
hand think if he wants to quit he needs to do it bluntly and not leave
anything open...

I need help and suggestions. We do not reside in the States and it is
hard to find counseling here.

KikiT

Posted: 11 Jun 2006 06:40 pm Post subject:
I understand your anguish with your husband's gambling. Commodoties and stock market speculations are gambling. Have you tried looking up Gam-Anon on the internet? It's for families and friends of gamblers. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know it's hard for you. Please come here to post again, perhaps someone else can help you. Kiki

Pathological gambling can destroy marriages – and if your soon-to-be ex has a gambling addiction, you know it can be extremely difficult to deal with.

When you’re divorcing someone with a gambling problem, you face big challenges. You may even wonder whether your partner really has a gambling addiction or is just reckless and irresponsible.

Signs of a Gambling Addiction
There are many misconceptions about what makes someone a pathological gambler. Even if your partner doesn’t gamble every day or can afford to lose money, he or she might have a gambling addiction.

Gambling addiction is often characterized by:

• Feeling the need to be secretive about gambling
• Gambling when there isn’t enough money to spare
• Having trouble controlling gambling

My Spouse Has A Gambling Problem Now

Why Gamblers Don’t Make Good Partners
Often, spouses and children pay the price for one person’s gambling habit. Bills may go unpaid, budgets may need to be stretched, and sometimes gambling even leads to the loss of a job.

It sounds like a typical cliché, but gamblers have to want to get help – you’re not going to be able to help your spouse quit gambling unless he or she realizes that it’s a problem and is willing to seek treatment for it. Even then, your partner has to stick with the treatment program and, in most cases, avoid gambling altogether.

What to Do if You Want to Divorce a Gambler
Talking to a Durham divorce lawyer should be your first step if you’re thinking about divorcing someone with a gambling problem. While well-intentioned friends and family are usually full of great advice, they may not understand the intricacies of North Carolina law.

Your attorney will be able to explain how alimony may be calculated and how your marital property (or debt) will be divided. He or she will also answer all of your questions about the divorce process based on your unique situation.

My Spouse Has A Gambling Problems